LOL, with so much going on everywhere lately, I completely forgot that it's my birthday til now. I'm such a clown somedays.
Uh, so 37. *silence* Feels pretty much like 36. Yep. Except that whole legally married thing (which doesn't feel any different than unofficially married). I think I noticed much more when I crossed over from my mid-twenties to my late twenties. Going from mid-thirties to late thirties? Not so much of a deal. :D
Soooooo, what's next? Well, I really don't know.
Oddly enough, lately I think I've made some peace with the idea that life is never "settled", not really. Things always change. I guess I finally realize that there's not so much point in waiting for things to settle down and level out. The chaos began on the day you were born and it doesn't end until the moment you die. Everything in between is in constant flux and motion-which means it's all growth.
Parts of your life settle and get settled at various times, and there are times when everything is up in the air and times when most things are harmonious and flowing smoothly.
Right now, many parts of my life are sorted out. I have Bear and the kid, I have my furkids, I have a house and a business, I have friends and family...all of these are anchors in my chaos. At the same time, I have no idea where anything goes from here. Will there finally be another baby or two? I hope so. Maybe not, though. Either way, it's OK. Neither path will ruin my life, nor will either path be the absolute fulfillment of my destiny.
Will my poor little store manage to survive or will we have to close it down? Again, I don't know. I hope it will manage to make it. I really do. But if it doesn't, it won't be the end of me. Bear and I took a huge risk on something I've always dreamed of doing. If it doesn't succeed I will always have that; that I tried it. I don't have to regret and wonder "what if?".
In a few years the kid will be finished High School and off to University somewhere. That'll be a new chapter in my life. Someday, I will have to deal with the loss of my parents. It's not something I can avoid. It's all far off and hidden from me right now.
Hee-apparently a birthday makes me philosophical. Anyhow, where I'm going with all of this is that I'm strangely serene and comfortable about facing it all. I'm good inside my own skin. I think that I finally realize that I am completely capable of dealing with whatever my life will bring.
Or I'm in a complete blind panic and this is a coping mechanism to keep me from realizing it. Whatever.
:D
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3 comments:
Happy birthday! I had no idea it was today. You're sneaky. :D
It was a hard year, so imo, 37 should be a coaster (as in the "put it in neutral and ride" kind not the roller kind.. :D)
See, if you were on Facebook we would have known it's your bday and sent you all these cute calorie-free colorful cakes! :-D
Hope your day was blissful and peaceful. Yeah.
I don't have a house, nor a business, am not married yet and certainly don't feel serene or settled... and I'm a year closer to the big 4-0 than you are. Bleh.
Can't wait for my life to finally start...
She is on faceass. She just doesn't have her birthday on there. Sneaky, sneaky.
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